Couples often complain about their partner not doing some (if not a lot) of things that they need or require in a relationship. If humans were able to read minds or were psychic, we’d be able to provide our partners exactly what they wanted all the time, but we just aren’t wired that way. Not everyone acknowledges or receives love in the same way. Hearts and flowers might work for some, while a trip to the beach, child and carefree would be just the ticket for other. No matter your preference, the way we want our partner to show us the love and appreciation may not come naturally to them. They may not have the same “love language”, or they may be afraid of trying and failing miserably.
If this is something you have or are experiencing, you are in luck. There are a few things you can do to make your partner happy, even when it’s not really your thing. Now, before we dive into it, I need to make one thing clear. There is a difference between doing what is unfamiliar and what you are unwilling to do. If you have communicated your relationship requirements, wants, and needs and your partner just outright refuses to do it (or says they will try and never do), then you will need to evaluate the relationship. An unwillingness to make your partner happy is indicative of an incompatible pairing. You may love each other, but resentment and anger will build over time if you are not fulfilling each other’s needs.
If there is a willingness and a sincere desire to do what makes your partner happy, here’s what you can do:
Schedule it on your calendar. If you know your partner is a hearts and flowers kind of person, I recommend “randomly” scheduling a delivery of flowers and candy on a frequent basis. Make a list of sentimental notes to use so you won’t get stuck trying to figure out what to say. You don’t need to be a poet to jot down a few compliments here and there. Try throwing on the calendar a home cooked meal (by you!) once a quarter.
Hire it out. Oh yes, you can hire someone to be the romantic thinker for you. The Secret is an ultra private company specializing in creating, planning, and executing romantic evenings, surprises, events, and proposals for individuals who want may not have the most romantic bone in their body, but want their partner to feel special. Whether you want to retain them for a year or just one night, their packages range from an intimate dinner to an over-the-top wedding proposal with family and friends.
Ask your partner. Sometimes, it’s easiest (and most endearing) to ask your partner for their ideas on what would make them happy. It’s possible that their ideas are not as unfamiliar as you thought and a heck of a lot better than trying to guess.
What are some other ideas you can think of?