What Antoine and Nicole Taught Me About US

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My heart hurts for Lela Rochon. I want to turning back side kick Antoine Fuqua. Someone needs to go Angela Bassett from Waiting to Exhale on Nicole.

If you haven’t already caught up on the news, Antoine and Nicole were caught kissing in PUBLIC while on vacation this week. I’m going to leave the obvious issue of a husband stepping out on his wife to the side for now because I really want to talk to US. The jury of public opinion.

Source: MadameNoire.com

The conversations bubbling up has not been focused on why a man would disrespect his wife in such a way as to openly cheat, but whether or not he was justified in doing so. All because of how his wife looks versus his MISTRESS. Yeah Nicole. Congratulations on your new title.

Source: Harry Langdon/Getty Images

If you are not familiar with his wife, Lela Rochon is an actress popular for her roles in the 90s as Robin Stokes in Waiting to Exhale, Christie in Boomerang, Sunshine in Harlem Nights, and a host of other music and television appearances. She was “The Brown Bombshell of the 90s”. Graceful and statuesque, she was well know for her killer body, beautifully lush hair, and dazzling smile. No doubt, she caught the eye of every eligible bachelor in town and Antoine Fuqua must have felt incredibly lucky to marry her in 1999.

Fast forward to 2019. After 20 years of marriage, Lela has to see, splashed on every news outlet, her husband getting affectionate with another woman. Another incredibly beautiful woman, Nicole Murphy. To make things worse, she has to read men AND women justifying his wayward hands because she has “let herself go”. You know, the nice way of saying she is out of shape. Out of shape, out of luck, huh?

See, this is the BS women have to contend with, not only as a single woman, but as a married woman as well. We need to be attractive enough to find a man. We need to be attractive enough to keep a man. But don’t be TOO attractive lest you attract the attention of other men. You see the pattern here? Women being the cause for men’s behavior. Want a man to act right? Do these 5 million things at the same time and you’ll be alright.

Shame on us. Shame on us for normalizing this burden. Shame on us for allowing men like Antoine to cheat conscious free because his wife made him to it. Nevermind the fact that she’s had to deal with the loss of her first pregnancy, a grueling work schedule, and the ghost of her 90s figure.

Maybe they are having other marital problems. Maybe they are privately separated and co-parenting. Who knows? But the fact that none of those things matter because she’s “overweight” speaks more to our jacked up views on marriage and commitment than anything else. What are we saying? Like really, what are we saying here? That she deserves it? Overweight women don’t deserve their own husbands? That love and marriage boils down to sex?

How incredibly dangerous is it to believe that someone deserves to be disrespected, betrayed, and publicly ridiculed for being on the fringe of acceptability? How insane is it to believe that fidelity in marriage is predicated on looks and you staying EXACTLY THE SAME as the day you got married? Grow up. I bet 90% of these comments are from people who are not even married, much less in a healthy one.

Speaking of which, the answer is NO. Men don’t get to a pass to cheat when their wives gain weight. If women can put up with your receding hairline and advancing gut, you can deal with a muffin top or two. If physical appearance is causing an actual issue, hey, talking about it openly is actually a thing. Workout together, create a healthy eating challenge. Bottom line, do it together. No excuses! We’re in this thang together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you think Antoine is into the wrong or do you think Lela has some blame in to in this? Let’s discuss!


  1. Antoine is wrong because he took vows of fidelity when he married. It’s his responsibility to share with his wife if there is an issue in their marriage. Nicole should have done her due diligence prior to dating Antoine to be sure he was divorced or legally separated. Lela should not be expected to look like she did 20 years ago BUT what he married was a woman with an attractive shape and I’m sure she knows most men are very visual. Obviously her husband appreciates an attractive shape.

    1. Nicole claimed to be a “family friend”. She knew what was going on.

      I’m not going to opine on what he expects of his wife, but what I do know is, none of that is a reason to betray on your wife in that way.

  2. I’m disappointed in Nicole. I don’t know her personally but no good thing is build on wrong foundation will stand and let’s hope this doesn’t affect her generation. The respond to say they are family friends but numerous pictures of them were taken kissing. Who is fooling who?

    As for Antoine iv got no words

    Hugs to Lela

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