If men marry bitches, why are women asked to get rid of their resting bitch face (RBF)?
I have been told a time or thirteen that I have a RBF. Not that really noticed (because who is watching their face), but I find that is such a contrast to who I am on the inside. I’m generally an easy going person who loves to laugh and have a good time. Smiling and being open comes easy to me so to have RBF is a bit misleading to me.
If you don’t know what RBF is, it’s a facial expression that appears to others as angry, stressed, sullen, or “in a mood”. Often, it is when the person is “resting” or otherwise in a relaxed state.
I know I have this because my husband frequently asks me if I am okay or if I’m upset. I could be watching TV, doing the dishes, or just thinking. Whatever it is, I look mad.
It’s not surprising that RBF is almost exclusively attributed to women. Men don’t get this label because men scowling or irritated is just a man being a man. It’s a problem when a woman is upset. Not only does that reduce her attractiveness and approachability, but it also means trouble for everyone else in her warpath.
So we tell women to cover it up. Wipe it away. Smile. Have a drink. Take a pill. Go home. Get a man. Get some. ANYTHING to stop looking unhappy. To ruin the ideal state that a woman should constantly be in. Because our being unhappy or angry is an affront to others.
I’m in the camp that says keep it. Bring that Bih out! Here’s why.
She’s real with herself.
A woman who is comfortable with her RGF is generally comfortable with herself. She is unafraid of being transparent with her thoughts and feelings. This also means that there is no fooling herself. She can call a thing and thing (as Iyanla Vanzant likes to say) and make smarter decisions that affect her.
She’s real with others.
RBF wearers, like myself, are constantly being asked to interpret what are face is communicating. We are used to having to articulate precisely how we feel so that there is no misunderstanding. There may even be times where we take the initiative and communicate so that our face doesn’t beat us to the punch. Quite often, if the feeling is negative, there is no use in denying it. It forces the conversation every time.
She’s not with the shits
This is self explanatory. Don’t come for an RBF wearer unless you are ready to hear what they have to say. Our honesty can be refreshing to some and nerve wracking for others. This breeds authenticity to those in their circle. Anyone who is not up for an open and honest relationship will not last long.
So next time someone tells you that you have a RBF, say thank you!